without a word


I break a sheet off
the sharpness numbs my fingertips
the fragility pulls the air from my lungs.
I can’t breathe,
believe
the words in like oxygen float in front of my gaze.
Dancing-twisted
un-rythmatic
pattern-free
persistence.
I am intrigued by my ability,
the effortless way I create delusion.
I am comforted by becoming the girl in my memories.
some not true
some not me
some not you
I am still staring at this single sheet
the crisp and clean white piece of perfect.
I fight for the right words to compliment its existence.
I beg for courage
to begin
to pick up the pen.
Time ticks-the millions of clocks-
the beat of my heart louder each second.
I see a single match-
swift and routine
breaks the silence of this night.
The clattering of my mind,
becomes light.
A single flicker of burning fuel
scatters life back to my hollow eyes.
All the things I wanted to say
but never said,
the things I wanted to do
but never did,
on fire in front of my face.

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neon lights and stars


so, so I see
under neon lights
and stars
ignite  my freedom
the curtain closed
anticipate it open
I stare, stare
so long
I breathe it in
hoping to find me
every day
as sure, sure I say
forgotten
forgiven
let go
off my shoulder tops
breathe out of my soul
so alive, alive
under a new sky
revived eyes
unexplored steps,
my feet keep step,
stepping
I look for the next
place
I am
designed to be