beyond here

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embroidered feathers for toes
she soars today
tomorrow is scary and yesterday is too much weight
to keep light enough to fly
they say
if gold were the color of stars
search for gold in souls-
sift through the deepest sand
remember to make it all un-perfect
dreams and consistency
water and waves
if only if she could if she did she didn’t
she should she shouldn’t
stop the dissipating, decentralized examination of life
If she spoke louder, if she didn’t speak at all
again they repeat a hymn..
a slogan, a song on continuous flow
she and they-told to follow the leader
told to be or not, not to pretend but to act
to surrender or to flee
she realizes life in the moments
when her disbelief becomes her guide


Remember in

Remember in the detail
the color
the scheme
Remember in the water
the fog
the bright light
Remember in the cracks
the breaks
the falters
Remember in the faintest of faint
prettiest of flaws
safety of insanity
Remember in a place you can’t find me


it’s stuffy in my room
the air-heavy like fog
floating in my mouth
filling my mind with water
and my thoughts are throwing

      against the side of
      my brain

the heat makes the drawers stick and
creak as they
and the old memories smell
like musty letters,
rusty nails
I am drowning in the sea of me
the tide is rising
and the air starts to taste like salt
a million emotions
clouded with a million degrees

I watch the fan-round-and-round-and-round-again

my neck is sticky
I lie